When you start your surrogacy process one of the first decision you will make is to decide if you will work with a surrogacy agency or not, also you need to think about the different types of surrogacy.
If you decide to pursue an independent surrogacy process you need to get in contact with a reputable lawyer who specializes in Surrogacy.
Even if you know about a family member, friend or college that would like to be your surrogate mother, a surrogacy agreement is needed to define the rights and responsibilities of both parts and because IVF clinics normally want to know that the agreement is signed before starting any medical procedure
How to find a Surrogate, where do you start?
There are different options to find a surrogate, learn about pros and cons of each one before making your choice.
If you are thinking to use a family member as surrogate, before moving forward ask your clinic about the requirements to be a surrogate. Some common guidelines to becoming a surrogate are:
- Age between 21 and 38
- Healthy Body Mass Index (BMI)
- Non-smoker
- No drugs or alcohol
- Minimum one previous pregnancy
- Not medical complications during pregnancy
One problem that you can face if you are looking for a surrogate between your friends and family is that everybody will know about your personal life. You need to consider if this is ok for you or not. On top, you also have to think that after the baby is born you will have some real interaction with your surrogate mother on a more personal way that if you would work with a surrogate mother found with an agency
If you choose to find surrogate mother on your own using internet, Facebook or online communities first write down a list with your needs and goals, for example:
- Country / state
- Race
- Married/Single or with partner
- working
- Clinic requirements
- Numbers of embryos to transfer (one or two)
- Insurance
- Types of surrogacy
Things to Consider When Choosing a Surrogate
Once you have found a potential surrogate mother, it’s imperative to have a face to face meeting (if you don’t live in the same location you can use skype). If she is married it’s good if you can meet her husband. This will let you to better know the person who is willing to help you. Make a lot of questions and follow your “gut instinct”. Don’t rush in your decision, it’s a very important decision so if you do not feel happy after meeting her perhaps you need to look for another candidate.
Some pre-screening questions need to take in consideration
- Is she what you anticipated from your previous conversations?
- Does she act responsibly?
- Does she look healthy?
- Do you have a good impression about her?
If you find a friend or a family member perhaps it would be relaxed for you to evaluate her commitment to the surrogate process because you already know this person. They have seen your wish to have a baby and become parents. Before moving forward with a relative or a friend you need to know that:
- A surrogacy agreement is needed
- A medical screened by the fertility clinic need to be passed
- A psychological evaluation needs to be passed
- She must get shots.
- She will have regular medical appointments during the pregnancy
- Becoming a surrogate mother is an enormous commitment and it takes a lot of time and energy
Also you can try to surrogacy classifieds websites to find surrogate mother.
When you make your decision to move forward with your surrogate mother, before signing the surrogacy agreement and starting the fertility treatment, she will undergo the medical and psychological screener.
